hope

I honestly don't know how my mother lived through and survived the teen years with my sister and I. Particularly that I'm not exactly an angel. lol. Far from it. My son is actually a better child and student than I was. I didn't much care about school and alllll that. But he does, most of the time. :)

Oh but I so was not prepared to parent a teenager.  I knew he was getting to that age but it just crept up on me. And dang... it's HARD!!! lol. I feel like running to my mom and say "I'm so sorry I was such a pain in high school!!! I'm so surprised you didn't kill me!!!" lol. I cringe at the memories of my attitude and back-talk and all that. 

In all seriousness though, my struggle with my son isn't a bad attitude or rudeness (mind you that there's a bit of that with the mood swings). It's getting him to switch priorities and see the bigger picture.  Granted, he is  young and well...immature but we feel that if he is able to switch priorities and build good habits now, he will enjoy his teen years much better.

We, of course, recognize that it is hard for him. Especially, that most of his friends if not all, just care about video games, skyping, chilling with friends, girls and just doing whatever feels good. We understand all that and isn't against those things but within the right boundaries. We want him to have time to hang out with friends, to play games and to talk to girls but all that comes after God, family and school. In it's right place, all those things are good but the problem is the priorities of most of the kids these days are all jumbled up and wrong. And for some reason, real hard work is something this generation is allergic to!!! 

I didn't realize that there is this very tricky balance of understanding him and allowing him to self-discover but at the same time helping and guiding him exist! Sanity and guidance for this momma, please!!!

Man, I used to think high school is brutal for the high schooler but it's even more so for the parents!!! But, praise God, we have Jesus and hope because if our parents came through it alive...so are we.

Hormones much?!?!?!

Woke up this morning feeling melancholy. Had crazy Braxton hicks ALL night and early morning. I had all these mix emotions about wanting the baby to come but at the same time feeling like I'm not ready. This emotional roller coaster is frustrating.

It's my third day home but I still check in at work for an hour or two. Today's the last day that I do that. I've been cleaning here and there at home. A lot of the things I really want to tackle I can't do which is frustrating.

I'm recognizing though underneath all the emotions that God knows when the best time is for the baby to come. He has set a time for everything. And He has deemed it necessary for the baby, for me and perhaps even for Allen and Allen Jr. that we wait for a little while longer. Perhaps to spend more time together.

I'm anxious but I must remember to wait upon the Lord. <3

14 more days till baby's due date. That seems forever. lol. It's getting tough to be in any position...lying down, sitting or standing. I'm ready to have him but he clearly is not ready yet. lol.