gray skies...

We received sad news two weeks ago. Both my maternal and paternal grandfathers suffered a stroke one day after the other. On the Wednesday, my Lolo (Mama's dad) had a stroke and cannot move the left side of his body. On the following day, (which was Thanksgiving and our Anniversary) my Mama called to tell me that Papatrop (my Papa's dad) also suffered a stroke and was also paralyzed on the left side. It was a bit hard to take a day after each other. The distance separating us seemed even farther and greater. I wanted so badly to go home to the Philippines to see them. It's been difficult these past two weeks especially for my parents. It's been hard seeing my Ma cry. I'm praising and thanking God that my parents will be able to go home to visit with them. Praise God!

Both grandfathers are still in the hospital. I'm not quite sure to what extend the damage is but they both have a long and hard road to recovery. I wish I could do more to help. I wish I could provide for all their needs. I know God can and He will. I've been telling myself this whole time that I will not and refuse to ask God why my Lolo when he's the kindest and most generous man I know. They have very very little but yet they give so much. Oh, God have mercy on me! But recently, I've been really wishing that I had lots of money so I can take the load off their shoulders. I know that having lots of money isn't the answer but it would definitely help! I've been fighting the feeling of regret that I wasn't still working in the legal field because I know had I still been working, I would be able to afford to send money. =( However, I do recognize that apart of my frustration this past week or so has been the fact that I (Me) cannot do anything to make it better. That apart from prayer and trusting in God, I cannot DO anything! That it is God's job to make it better!

I am thankful. I am hopeful. And I know that His plan is to "proper" us and "not to harm" us, "plans to give (us) hope and a future." This is a great comfort to us! He is in control!!! Relying on God for strength, comfort, and assurance of the future. Our God is powerful!