God's strong enough!

Matthew 11:28-30
"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

Healing and cleansing, that's what I got this weekend!!!

A friend and I talked prior to the weekend and I prayed that I could be a humble vessel that the Holy Spirit can use to comfort this dearest friend. But as the conversation progressed through the night, it seemed that God didn't have just one agenda here. He wanted to surround my friend with comfort and love through human means and to assure my friend of how His grace and mercy can take the ugliness of our lives and turn it all around to be something so beautiful it takes our breath away. Yes, He wanted my friend to let go of her pain and give it to Him to take care of. But I was so surprised that He had a message for me as well. Here, I thought I would be the vessel for His comfort for my friend but I realized God was comforting me too and revealing that I had a burden I didn't realize I was carrying for over a decade.

On Sabbath morning, at church, my heart was heavy with this burden and I realized that I never went to Him for forgiveness. I didn't relinquish the sin and it's ugliness to Him. I do believe that He has forgiven me but for the purposes of healing and cleansing of my soul, I had to go to Him and lay it before Him and ask for His forgiveness and cleansing. As the worship service progressed, every song that was sang or verses that were spoken hit me like a ton of brick and my iniquities were ever before me. I felt shame and sadness that I've hurt God so much and never asked Him for His forgiveness for soooo long. The tears came and I couldn't stop them and in my heart I asked God to forgive me. I fell on my knees during prayer apologizing with incredible regret that I have hurt Him and never really repented for it. I felt His love and forgiveness surround me. My burden no longer stared me at my face... my heart no longer felt so heavy. My heart felt light and His incredible love was in front of me, around me, and deep inside me.

As I listened to a friend sing "Strong Enough", I cried tears of gratitude and joy for His love and His mercy. He truly did as the lyrics said, "He took my life into His hands, and turned it all around. In my most desperate circumstance, is where I'm finally found... that You are strong enough, that You are pure enough, to break me, pour me out and start again, that You are brave enough, to take one chance on me, Oh thank You for my chance to start again."

I am ever thankful to God for revealing this to me for I would have never known of it on my own. =) And I thank my friend, whom I dearly love and care for, for sharing her heart and soul with me.

May God continue to break us and mold us into His being and in the process will make us whole!

"Strong Enough" by Stacie Orrico

As I rest against this cold hard wall, will you pass me by?
Will you criticize me as I sit and cry?
I had fought so hard and thought that all my battles had been won
Only to find the war had just begun

Is He not strong enough?
Is He not pure enough?
To break me, pour me out and start again?
Is He not brave enough?
To take one chance with me
Please can I have one chance to start again

Will my weakness fall and and now make me suffer for a lifetime?
Is there any way to be made whole again
If I be renewed and find forgiveness by the strength I've never had
Will my scars forever ruin all God's plans?

Is He not strong enough?
Is He not pure enough?
To break me, pour me out and start again?
Is He not brave enough?
To take one chance with me
Please can I have one chance to start again

He took my life into His hands
And turned it all around
In my most desperate circumstance, is where I'm finally found

That You are strong enough
That You are pure enough
To break me, pour me out and start again
That You are brave enough
To take one chance on me,
Oh thank You for my chance to start again

C25K anyone?

Last Sunday, I got talking with a friend and she shared with me that she's been running for several weeks now. She said she was following a program called Couch-to-5K. This program helps one get from inactivity to eventually running 5K, I believe w/in two months. So I went home and looked it up. I just search C25K and it sounded something I could do. =)

I started my C25K on Monday and I've been going everyday except Wednesday. The program calls for only 3 days a week but I'm enjoying it enough that I do it everyday and I walk for another 40 to 60 minutes after. I usually listen to sermons I've downloaded from AudioVerse.org and that would carry me through for an hour. I guess I'm also enjoying the weather and I need to take advantage of it before winter sets in. =(

Although, to be honest, I didn't feel like being disciplined today. Not just exercising but the whole thing... eating a good breakfast of grains, nuts and 2-3 fruits and have a good lunch and then just juice for dinner, drink lots of water, no snacking and being patient (lol... this is really hard for me!). But I had to remind myself that this isn't a lose weight fad (sp?) but now my lifestyle and not just in nutrition but overall. Actually, I haven't see my weight drop but I'm giving that to God... Godly trust for the G in GOD'S PLAN. =)

Look for a link in my page to the article.

May God's love and mercy surround us today!

keeping me lifted

I’ve come to realize that it’s so easy to lose hope. So easy to see the world as bleak and to see no good in the future. I realize as a Christian we are as susceptible to one that does not believe in God to feeling despair, broken, and depressed. Last night, I witnessed despair and hopelessness overcome a friend and my heart broke for him. I saw pain and sorrow in his eyes. Anger and bitterness raged within him. I saw a battle last night. A battle between the Holy Spirit and evil spirits. I felt overwhelmed and scared in the face of such darkness... of utter hopelessness. I didn’t know what to do or what to say. All I could think of is we need Jesus... we need to pray. I prayed silently as others ministered to my friend and I cried out to God to intercede, begging for deliverance, asking for His hope and peace for my friend. When faced with such bleakness and despair, we, humans, are powerless. We cannot do anything but cling tightly to God for healing for ourselves and for our friends. GOD won that battle last night!!! Praise be the Lord who delivers His people always!

Our minds if left unguarded but even for a single second can be overcome by doubt, guilt, anger and bitterness and all too soon when left to ferment in our minds it starts to inflict the rest of our body and takes over our lives. We then lose sight of our hope, our peace, our joy, and our future... our Light. JESUS is our hope, our peace, our future!

Friend, don’t lose hope! Don’t despair despite your pain and sorrow. God is ever before you. He will NOT fail you! Though your world may seem bleak and dark, there is a Light that is shining to guide your steps. Look to this Light always. Surrender yourself for the Lord’s keeping. He can sustain you through any adversity. Comfort and guard yourself with His Word for He had it written to bring hope and peace for you!

I cling to Him who gives me strength, who gives me hope, who gives me peace and joy. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for your promise to come back to take us home to a place where pain, sorrow, and despair will cease to exist. I am comforted that You, Lord, are in complete control of our future!

Psalm 121

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

My Brave Goalie

My son, Allen, with his left hand in a brace and sling. =(

He injured himself while playing goalie at soccer. He blocked a goal and won the game but fractured his arm. His coach said it was at least a beautiful save. lol.

My family

Post cleansing and a vegan lifestyle ...

Earlier this Spring, I started attending a Medical Missionary Training at my church. During these weekend meetings, we explored health and what God says about it. We spoke about GOD'S PLAN which stood for G-Godly trust, O-open air, D-daily exercise, S-sunshine, P-proper rest, L-lots of water, A-always temperate, and N-nutrition and how each of these are important to our daily life.

As we studied God's Word, read excerpts from Ministry of Healing and listening to testimonies, it became apparent to me that I really haven't fully accepted God's counsel about how to take care of my body... physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I really realized that the things that we take in whether it be music, television shows, movies, books, and food affect our minds and hearts which then dictates our daily interactions, thoughts, desires, and actions. As I attended one meeting after another, the Holy Spirit was really moving me to realize my need to truly accept this message for myself and calling me to change. As I felt that nudging from Him to really follow what He had intended our diets and lifestyle to be, inside I was panicking and thinking, "God, you can't ask this of me... at least not yet. I'm not ready! Give me a few years... I plan to go vegan but not quite yet. After all, I just turned vegetarian 8 months ago!" But deep in my heart, I knew God was asking this of me now. I don't know why but letting go of fish and eggs seem harder than letting go of beef and chicken. I think what scared the most was that going vegan... no fish... no eggs... is so foreign to me and this was something I had never planned on being. I supposed in my mind I was thinking, "if I do this... if I follow... what's next?! what will He ask that I change next?!" But I know and recognize that God is the great Creator therefore it just make sense that He would hold the manual to our bodies... how to care, maintain, and cure them.

As I struggled to commit to this, I was discussing some of my health issues with my friend Joya who was supervising the training. After listening to my concerns and health history, she suggested that I do a cleanse to get rid of the toxins in my body. She told me I could do this two ways. The short way and the long way. Short way being a 7-day colon cleanse with no food only fluids and the long way is several weeks of raw veggies and fruits diet. They both didn't sound very good! But knowing me, I knew that the lesser of the two evils would be the quick and short one. lol. I had to drink constantly... juicing, immune teas from herbs and cleansing drinks. And it also had a set schedule for me to follow like devotional time, prayer, getting fresh air, walking, and some hydrotherapy. I was quite scared how it was going to be. I've never done anything like this so I didn't know what to expect but I left it up to God. He provided the perfect time that my husband was able to help me. He provide most of the materials so I didn't have to spend too much $. I have to say that God was sooo good! He got me through those 7 days!!! I actually enjoyed it. I felt such peace and a lightness in my heart and body. It's difficult to explain esp. that I'm not very good w/ words. But my mind during those 7 days was so clear, so vivid. I had an abundance of energy and I felt every part of my body alive. I know that sound weird but it was just that. This was God's miracle for me. I still couldn't believe that I didn't die of hunger and craving for food. I won't deny that there were times that it was hard but it wasn't to the extent that I had expected.. =)

During my cleansing, Joya often visited me and helped us with the hydrotherapy at night. I mentioned to her that I felt compelled to fully accept God's counsel on my diet. She was very supportive and encouraged me to consider starting right after my cleansing because my taste buds have reset and my body was ready for change. =) I knew she was right and it was the best time for me to make the change but I still had doubts about being able to live that way. But, through God's help, I did make the decision (both intellectually and in my heart) to go vegan.

It's been a difficult change and I'm still learning to make the changes not only in my eating but in my daily life. I've fallen many times, as we often do as sinners, but God has continually helped me get back up. He's been my Friend through every trial and, thankfully, every temptation. A friend shared with me once, when I told her of my fears of embracing this lifestyle, that God will never lead you where He cannot help you through it and that when temptation is at it's peak, He will give you a way out and preserve your commitment to Him. What a comfort, isn't it?! God has been so good to surround me with people who are very supportive and has amazing vegan recipes! (that always helps!) Thank you, Lord!

The 1st picture was around end of Nov or early Dec '08 and the second was after my cleansing (of course not all the weight was lost from the cleansing) in June.