2.26.2009
Do you ever wonder WHY????!!!!
Yeah... so I'm still at home and it's already 9:10 a.m. Normally, I would be on my 2nd cardio machine at the gym... but no I'm here because I DO WANT TO BE AT THE GYM today!!!!!
I was lying in bed thinking... why? Why can't I just be healthy (=thin) now? Why do I have to bust my ass to lose weight? Why didn't I stop myself for over indulging for 5 years?!!!! Why do I have to go to the gym? Why do I have to count my calories? or just watch what I eat or drink water? Why can't I have a huge plate filled with pasta, pizza, donuts and mash potatoes? Why??? why?????????????????????? Arggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh... (I know why but I being stubborn this morning and not listening to that "still small voice")
Well...I'm up now... going to get ready for the gym... grudgingly! Does it really get easier???!
I was lying in bed thinking... why? Why can't I just be healthy (=thin) now? Why do I have to bust my ass to lose weight? Why didn't I stop myself for over indulging for 5 years?!!!! Why do I have to go to the gym? Why do I have to count my calories? or just watch what I eat or drink water? Why can't I have a huge plate filled with pasta, pizza, donuts and mash potatoes? Why??? why?????????????????????? Arggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh... (I know why but I being stubborn this morning and not listening to that "still small voice")
Well...I'm up now... going to get ready for the gym... grudgingly! Does it really get easier???!
2.23.2009
Update...
Last week (which was week 7 of our Get Healthy 2009 Challenge) was a tough week! I made it once to the gym and was just beating myself up because I really didn't have any excuse for not going. Booo me!
Well, it's day 1 of Week 8 and so far so good. Made it to the gym today! Yay God! But I was definitely dragging my feet going this morning. But I have to say I feel good!!! =)
So for my Monday Weigh-in results... I'm down 2 lbs! (total of 8.5 lbs) Woooohooooo!!! That puts me down to 160 lbs. I was hoping that I would drop 1 more pound or even half a pound just so I can say I'm no longer in the 160s... but next Monday for sure!!! =P
I'm doing well with counting calories (expect for the past two Fridays!) but I do have to be consistent in writing them down even if I'm keeping a tally in my head because I recognize how easy it is to go over. With the workouts, we'll as you know that's been off lately but I'm determined to get back into routine this week. For a while there, I was on track everyday and it seemed so easy to stay on routine but I soon found out how easy you can fall off the wagon and you're struggling to get back on. I realized that I've got to be persistent in keeping my routine and guarding my gym/workout time. I mean I know life happens ... that I can't avoid but I still can do little things to keep me somewhat on track. I was so proud of myself yesterday when we had our youth get together for lunch and it wasn't my high-calorie (day off) day. I knew if I went and didn't eat anything I would most likely cave and have EVERYTHING. lol. So I decided to cut up fresh veggies and my husband bought a vegetable dip (60 cal for 2 tbsp!!!). That definitely keep me from getting the "other stuff". I was just thrilled that I stayed strong and was determined to eat clean that day regardless of the event. =) Yay God!!!
Anyway... off to another week!!! =)
p.s. Today at the gym, I was definitely seeing changes in my body. Feels soooo good!
Well, it's day 1 of Week 8 and so far so good. Made it to the gym today! Yay God! But I was definitely dragging my feet going this morning. But I have to say I feel good!!! =)
So for my Monday Weigh-in results... I'm down 2 lbs! (total of 8.5 lbs) Woooohooooo!!! That puts me down to 160 lbs. I was hoping that I would drop 1 more pound or even half a pound just so I can say I'm no longer in the 160s... but next Monday for sure!!! =P
I'm doing well with counting calories (expect for the past two Fridays!) but I do have to be consistent in writing them down even if I'm keeping a tally in my head because I recognize how easy it is to go over. With the workouts, we'll as you know that's been off lately but I'm determined to get back into routine this week. For a while there, I was on track everyday and it seemed so easy to stay on routine but I soon found out how easy you can fall off the wagon and you're struggling to get back on. I realized that I've got to be persistent in keeping my routine and guarding my gym/workout time. I mean I know life happens ... that I can't avoid but I still can do little things to keep me somewhat on track. I was so proud of myself yesterday when we had our youth get together for lunch and it wasn't my high-calorie (day off) day. I knew if I went and didn't eat anything I would most likely cave and have EVERYTHING. lol. So I decided to cut up fresh veggies and my husband bought a vegetable dip (60 cal for 2 tbsp!!!). That definitely keep me from getting the "other stuff". I was just thrilled that I stayed strong and was determined to eat clean that day regardless of the event. =) Yay God!!!
Anyway... off to another week!!! =)
p.s. Today at the gym, I was definitely seeing changes in my body. Feels soooo good!
2.18.2009
*sigh* Another day down the drain...
I'm totally disappointed at myself 'coz I haven't been back to the gym since Friday! I knew that I've got the tendency to fall off the wagon if I don't discipline myself to stick to routine. Arrrrrggggghhhh. But on the positive side, I'm eating ok ... sticking to counting my calories.
I visited a blog that I've been following and Melting Away posted a quote that encouraged me.
"Courage (weight loss) doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage (weight loss) is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow." --- Mary Anne Radmacher
Melting away said she replaced courage with weight loss. I liked it so much I wrote it in my journal and here. Thanks for posting that quote!
Tomorrow it is!!!!!!!
I visited a blog that I've been following and Melting Away posted a quote that encouraged me.
"Courage (weight loss) doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage (weight loss) is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow." --- Mary Anne Radmacher
Melting away said she replaced courage with weight loss. I liked it so much I wrote it in my journal and here. Thanks for posting that quote!
Tomorrow it is!!!!!!!
2.15.2009
I LIED!!!!!!!!!!
At my last blog, I said that it shouldn't be so hard to bring my calories lower but that was only a few days after I started. Well... I lied!!!!! It's so much harder because I have to be even more exact about my portions and my snacks! =( I struggled this week! My husband said, "Just keep going, give it another 3 weeks and you'll adjust to it." I know he's right but knowing doesn't make it easier or make me feel better!
Plus today I had a bad melt down. I had to dig up a gown for our Valentine's Banquet tonight and trying it on and stuff just made me really feel sad and just disappointed that I can't loss this weight faster (because I can't fit in my biggest gown!!!). I started thinking all that work and I've only lost 4.5 lbs. I'm just feeling overwhelmed and doubting that I can lose 56lbs.! It just seem so much to lose and so unattainable!!! Dressy events are really hard on me and I've got this banquet tonight and a wedding in May and guess what I found myself doing... I was CALCULATING how much I would lose by then and tried to visualize what I would look like (and I was telling myself that it wouldn't be enough weight loss!)!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhh, I was just killing myself this morning. I was stabbing myself and twisting the knife!!! Why do I do this?! Does it work if I lie to myself and say, "this doesn't really bother me... it's ok?" does it?! This is precisely why I avoid events like these often because it just produces negative thoughts and feelings and overall just sets me back emotionally! But you know I'm TIRED of avoiding events... why the heck should I put my life on hold just because I can't cope with how I look in dresses?! The fact that I paid for this banquet 2 weeks ago without even caring or thinking about what I'm going to wear and how I will look is good! But all these negative thoughts and feelings just suddenly hit me this morning and I wasn't prepared to block it and I just fell apart. I'm just frustrated and I was asking God to help me change how I think and help me not fall apart everytime these events come up. I don't want to be like this. I want this journey to be about overall health and not just the weight. To develop good habits and let go of bad ones like putting myself down and devaluing the work I've put in. And most of all to change the attitude of faster is better... of instant gratification! I tried telling myself that it took months and years for me to pile on 56 lbs. and it will take just that... months and years to lose it but this morning I just wasn't listening. =(
After balling and feeling really pissed because I was putting myself down and putting little value on my hard work, I felt a little better. I went online to visit some sites that encouraged me a little. I know I have to have a longer talk with God and to just get my head screwed on properly esp. before the banquet tonight. I recognize too that I needed to get my comfort and encouragement from Him first before anything or anyone else. Tonight will be tough but I'm tougher so I won't let this eat at me!
A very wise lady said this... "Focus on how far you have come, NOT how far you have to go!"
Plus today I had a bad melt down. I had to dig up a gown for our Valentine's Banquet tonight and trying it on and stuff just made me really feel sad and just disappointed that I can't loss this weight faster (because I can't fit in my biggest gown!!!). I started thinking all that work and I've only lost 4.5 lbs. I'm just feeling overwhelmed and doubting that I can lose 56lbs.! It just seem so much to lose and so unattainable!!! Dressy events are really hard on me and I've got this banquet tonight and a wedding in May and guess what I found myself doing... I was CALCULATING how much I would lose by then and tried to visualize what I would look like (and I was telling myself that it wouldn't be enough weight loss!)!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhh, I was just killing myself this morning. I was stabbing myself and twisting the knife!!! Why do I do this?! Does it work if I lie to myself and say, "this doesn't really bother me... it's ok?" does it?! This is precisely why I avoid events like these often because it just produces negative thoughts and feelings and overall just sets me back emotionally! But you know I'm TIRED of avoiding events... why the heck should I put my life on hold just because I can't cope with how I look in dresses?! The fact that I paid for this banquet 2 weeks ago without even caring or thinking about what I'm going to wear and how I will look is good! But all these negative thoughts and feelings just suddenly hit me this morning and I wasn't prepared to block it and I just fell apart. I'm just frustrated and I was asking God to help me change how I think and help me not fall apart everytime these events come up. I don't want to be like this. I want this journey to be about overall health and not just the weight. To develop good habits and let go of bad ones like putting myself down and devaluing the work I've put in. And most of all to change the attitude of faster is better... of instant gratification! I tried telling myself that it took months and years for me to pile on 56 lbs. and it will take just that... months and years to lose it but this morning I just wasn't listening. =(
After balling and feeling really pissed because I was putting myself down and putting little value on my hard work, I felt a little better. I went online to visit some sites that encouraged me a little. I know I have to have a longer talk with God and to just get my head screwed on properly esp. before the banquet tonight. I recognize too that I needed to get my comfort and encouragement from Him first before anything or anyone else. Tonight will be tough but I'm tougher so I won't let this eat at me!
A very wise lady said this... "Focus on how far you have come, NOT how far you have to go!"
2.11.2009
4.5 pounds gone!!! Yay!!! =)
I'm 4.5 pounds lighter! lol. I lost a pound this past week and I’m celebrating that because it’s better than no loss at all. I have stayed consistent in my workout during the week. I go everyday of the week to the gym because I notice that if I miss a day then most likely I’ll miss the next day and the next... well you get the picture.
I’ve been trying to get myself to run a few minutes at a time. I got up to 5 minutes and maintained that for a week then I was gonna increase it. But then I had to stop running last week because my right ankle started acting up again. I took my husband’s advice to put off running for a bit. All this extra weight is hard on my joint during normal daily activities, how much more running. I was kinda disappointed because I do enjoy running and wanted to get back to that but I realized that my body is just way too heavy for my weak joints. I’m going to have to put off running for a while and my dream of doing my first marathon this year.
This week, I’ve lowered my calorie intake. I didn’t realize that I was consuming around 2,200 to 2,600 calories a day but if I want to see a more consistent weight loss I’ll have stay in the range of 1,200 to 1,500 a day. So I’ve adjusted my eating to meet that range. I’m doing well so far. Not feeling hungry or anything since I eat every 2 to 3 hours. I’m struggling a bit coz I’m wanting to emotionally eat right now... can’t figure out why... will have to sit down and journal. Also, I’m finding that I struggle at night. The longer I stay up the more I want to snack. So I’ve got to really push myself to sleep early.
Overall, I’ve been trying to stay active or keep moving even here at home but I must say some days when I get home from the gym... I just don’t want to move. lol. I’m really excited about the changes we are making in our lives. I’m so proud of my husband coz’ he’s sticking it out and he’s so disciplined with his portions... he motivates me so much! He’s lost 10 lbs.!!! Man... he drops weight like nothing... why can’t I have his metabolism! *sigh* But overall, it’s been so good to know that we are making good and healthy changes in our lives. I love hearing my 10-year-old son ask “Can I have salad with my dinner, Mom?” Isn’t that just sooo exciting!!!
Yay God!!!!!
I’ve been trying to get myself to run a few minutes at a time. I got up to 5 minutes and maintained that for a week then I was gonna increase it. But then I had to stop running last week because my right ankle started acting up again. I took my husband’s advice to put off running for a bit. All this extra weight is hard on my joint during normal daily activities, how much more running. I was kinda disappointed because I do enjoy running and wanted to get back to that but I realized that my body is just way too heavy for my weak joints. I’m going to have to put off running for a while and my dream of doing my first marathon this year.
This week, I’ve lowered my calorie intake. I didn’t realize that I was consuming around 2,200 to 2,600 calories a day but if I want to see a more consistent weight loss I’ll have stay in the range of 1,200 to 1,500 a day. So I’ve adjusted my eating to meet that range. I’m doing well so far. Not feeling hungry or anything since I eat every 2 to 3 hours. I’m struggling a bit coz I’m wanting to emotionally eat right now... can’t figure out why... will have to sit down and journal. Also, I’m finding that I struggle at night. The longer I stay up the more I want to snack. So I’ve got to really push myself to sleep early.
Overall, I’ve been trying to stay active or keep moving even here at home but I must say some days when I get home from the gym... I just don’t want to move. lol. I’m really excited about the changes we are making in our lives. I’m so proud of my husband coz’ he’s sticking it out and he’s so disciplined with his portions... he motivates me so much! He’s lost 10 lbs.!!! Man... he drops weight like nothing... why can’t I have his metabolism! *sigh* But overall, it’s been so good to know that we are making good and healthy changes in our lives. I love hearing my 10-year-old son ask “Can I have salad with my dinner, Mom?” Isn’t that just sooo exciting!!!
Yay God!!!!!
2.05.2009
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